I AM

on being everything and nothing, magnificent and lonely, strong and shattered

This page is the foundation of a body of visual artwork I’m currently creating.

Wednesday, February 26, 2025 17:30

I am overwhelmed

I am starstruck

I am afraid

I am drifting

I am dreaming

I am magic

I am learning

I am sad

I am broke

I am abundant

I am precious

I am grateful

I am nothing

I am everything

I am strong

I am shattered

I am magnificent

I am lonely

I am anxious

I am in love

I am heartbroken

I am hopeful

I am independent

I am creating

I am doubting

I am admiring

I am trying not to be overly critical of my existence and my being.

But every time I pause to figure out what or who I am… I can’t help but feel like I am so insignificant but equally significant.

That if I didn’t exist, my thoughts wouldn’t exist.

This moment wouldn’t exist because I wouldn’t exist to experience it.

But, what if I am just a spec?

A spec that is infinite and finite.

A spec that has power of magnitudes that are indescribable.

Power to identify however I choose.

I write I AM.

Gel print test study inspired by excerpts from this page. The words are a ‘reflection’ of my identity.

I don’t think I can ever write a list of ‘I AM’s’ that would significantly describe who or what I am, so why try?

Because, I AM NOT A QUITTER!

However, I choose to quit feeling insecure and doubt and overwhelm and fear and that feeling of insignificance.

I quit being angry and helpless.

I quit feeding my constant depression.

I quit saying that ‘I can’t’ and that I don’t have enough or I’m not enough!

Because god dammit! I’m so fucking abundant that I can be whoever the fuck I want to be… until I decide I can’t.

That’s the day it will all be taken away.

I decide.

I choose.

To fight for the life I want.

To create a legacy.

To learn.

To thrive.

Until one day…I choose to die.